Monday, September 2, 2013

grieving the 'no'

I read in a book recently that when we say 'yes' to one thing in life - we are automatically saying 'no' to something else. This seems obvious, I know, but I've never thought about it like this. The author went on to say that we need to give ourselves permission to grieve the things we've said 'no' to.

This explained a lot for me. I've always thought that I experienced regret after making major decisions in life. But perhaps I wasn't feeling regret at all - maybe what I was feeling was grief. Like when I cried so much on my wedding day. Although I was confident in my decision to say 'yes' to marriage, I was also saying 'no' that day to single life - and I was grieving. And even though my first pregnancy was planned and eagerly anticipated - I was a little sad when those two blue lines appeared. This joyful 'yes' in my life also meant saying 'no' to my pre-baby life.

My sweet girl is a bit sad today. Tomorrow all of her friends will start school and she's feeling lonely and left out. We went on a little date this afternoon and I was able to share with her that it's ok to be sad about this. Our 'yes' to homeschooling means we have to say 'no' to other things. Good things. And it's okay to grieve the 'no' that comes along with that decision. It doesn't mean we've made a bad decision, or even that we're feeling regret --- we're just sad about the 'no' - and that's ok.

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