Today we have officially been waiting one year. One year since our home study has been done. One year since our dossier has been done. One year since our file has been sent to Ethiopia. Just waiting - for a whole year. And if the predictions are accurate - we still have a long way to go.
The wait has been hard. People warned me that it would be. I don't think I believed them. But it's hard because I feel helpless - there is absolutely nothing I can do to make this go faster. Nothing I can do to get to my daughter any quicker. It's hard because when I tuck my children in at night I wonder who is making sure she's warm enough. And when I care for my kids when they're sick I wonder who is making her feel better.
They say becoming a mother is like walking around with your heart outside your body. Becoming a waiting adoptive mother is like walking around with your heart on another continent. So yes, there are hard days in this wait.
I've had some doubts along the way. Did we pick the right agency? Is this the right country? Should we look into other options? Thankfully, my husband has no doubts. Only faith. And with his leadership, we are choosing to remain steadfast. Enduring the wait - and knowing that this labor of love is part of His perfect plan for our family.
God has been faithful in the wait. Through the tears and the fear and the longing He is molding me and shaping me into the mother I will need to be for her. For that I am grateful.